Dogs hurriedly fail to sneeze damp plots. Two mushrooms fiercly wielding a sack of laughter. A bucket-full of umbrellas raining noses on tomorrow. Furious wheelchairs roaming in clouded ear-wax. Manicured mildew bleat hazard into cat whiskers. Flying pigs march darkness behind concerned pillows. Constipated squirrels squeal charm over flowerpots. Little Britain. Confused sunshine bottles suspicion unnoticed. Blind concrete running sheepishly amidst bliss. Meanwhile, the ill-begotten beard is snowing muffins. A glass of smoke pondering its wooden hope. Elsewhere, a bicycle and three quarters wilts boldly. Galloping teeth are housing bewildered discomfort. Snarling cucumbers shall hover blandly. Greedy hairstyles are struck by fleeing pedantry. Doubtful tickets sleeping harshly forward. Scornful hats contemplate seethingly in blushing mittens. Nearby, the fuming scissors are still bleeding oblivion.


Words. Alive. Spoken. Written. Whispered. Thought. Imagined. Believed. Combining. Forming sentences. Forging substance. Crafting meaning. Where previously there was none. Nouns. Verbs. Adjectives. Incompatible parts. Joining. Uniting. Believed. Trusted. Conveying information. Evoking emotion. Bringing insight. Inspiring creativity. ... ... Gathering doubt. Breeding confusion. Misinterpreted. Falling. In silence. To the floor. Discarded. Dead.


Go away. There is nothing here to see. Nope. Nada. Nothing at all. A massive wasteland. A vast spread of non-existence. Bleakness personified. Mediocracy with a face. Hello? Are you still there? Blissful boredom. A blind spot. A dark corner. Just ignore it. Leave it be. There is no point to any of this. It is a total waste of time. So there is no reason for you to read this nonsense. Just say no. Ignore it. Move on. Find a more fulfilling pastime. Don't ask me. It's not my problem. Just go. Disappear. Leave me alone.


Here, we visit the fascinating world of common household objects: Plates. Spoons. Glasses. A pair of scissors. The garden gnome. Forks. Oven mittens. Three cups and a broken ear. Oh, and also knives. A microwave oven. Pots and pans. Cows. No, strike that. Pencils stumps. Kitchen sink. Bread crumbs. Cupboards. The magic light inside the fridge. Pocket lint. Vacuum cleaners. A rake. Yesterdays paper. Colander. A set of shot glasses. Garden gnome. Potato pealer. Whisk. Hang on, we've had a garden gnome already. We have? Yes, up there, look. Oh. Well, they go better in pairs. What? Two look better than one. No they don't. They're bleeding awful either way. Well, I don't think so. Sigh. Frying pan. Snow shovel. Some tins. Corkscrew. Salad bowl. Freezer. Jars. A mortar. Garden gnome. Groan, not another. Another what? Another bloody gnome, of bloody course. Yes, what about it? I hate the blasted things. Just leave them out.